I’m broke.  I’m starving.  The only food I have in my house are eggwhites, scraps of cheese, shitty salsa, expired sour cream, and unsalted tortilla chips.  So what do I do?  This:

Eggchos!

AND THEY WERE FUCKIN’ AMAZING.  How in the hell have I not thought of this earlier?  I devoured these suckers quicker than a fangbanger on neck.  I plan on buying these ingredients again ON PURPOSE, people!  I JUST INVENTED EGGCHOS!

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So we are approaching the last few hours of TheStream.tv‘s first 24hour “streamathon”.  It started Friday night at 6pm and ends Saturday night at 6pm.  Our original goal was to raise $1000 for The Epilepsy Foundation of the Greater Los Angeles Area over the course of the 24 hours.  Well, I am pleased to say that we surpassed that goal and are now shooting for $2000!

I do have to say that we can attribute reaching our original goal to my wiener.  Seriously.  My big ol’ ginger wiener is pretty rad…

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I don't think it's quite this fun for the kid.

This is crazy. A 6 year old boy climbed into a helium filled aircraft that his parents and he had made only to float away into the Colorado sky?! HOLY SHIT. My first instinct is to give the boy major props for managing to rebel against protective parents by getting up and leaving (it takes most of us 18 years to finally muster the courage).

Maybe this kid has the right idea.

But then it dawns on me that this isn’t some “Flight Of The Navigator” hoot’n'nanny.  This kid is probably PETRIFIED up there!  He’s almost 10,000ft above the surface of the earth and there’s no enormous plateau with rare birds, talking dogs, and crazy vintage adventurers to land on.  This shit is REAL.  Let’s just hope that he brought some Nature’s Valley granola bars, Toy Story 2 fruit snacks, and a CapriSun to tied him over.  My instinct is that the helium will slowly lose it’s scientific properties and the balloon will gradually sink to earth.  Let’s hope it’s that peaceful…Standby for updates.  In the meantime, I’m going to disassemble the dirigible in my driveway before a puppy steals it.

**UPDATE** He was not in the balloon when it landed moments ago. Going by how well his parents have taken care of him thus far, I’m assuming they forgot to check his bedroom and his xbox. At least this is truly what I hope has happened. I would hate to think something else…

**UPDATE 2** He was hiding in the attic in a box and now it’s believed this “All was for the show” according to him. Hoax or hoax?

**UPDATE 3** He just threw up on Good Morning America. My question: Was it REAL throw up or is he trying to milk this attention thing to the bitter end? HOAX!

This makes me laugh, then throw up, then laugh, then call my parents to thank them for raising me right.  Yes it was adorable when I saw the lil girl dance to “Put A Ring On It” by Beyoncé. Yes, it’s adorable to watch a tiny child do the “stanky leg” dance.  But it’s also one of the most disturbing things my eyes have set upon.  Think about it: this baby girl hasn’t even entered elementary school and has ALREADY LEARNED how to gyrate her hips and drop it like it’s “hot” (my first word, ironically).  If you like this video, you’re a pedophile. Seriously.

Grande 2 Pump Non-Fat Pumpkin Spice Latte. Yup, I know.

The fresh feeling of a cool, crisp autumn breeze against your cheek.  The smell of damp oak leaves littering the puddled ground. The taste of seasonal treats and pumpkin flared goodies.  All of these contribute to my addiction to the fall season.  Here’s the problem: I live in LA – the season-less cesspool of summer-lovin A-holes.  The second you even mention “rain”, “cold”, or “sweater” their body goes erect with disdain and downright judgement of my Northwestern heritage.  “Oh, you’re a one of THEM”.  You bet your assless chaps I am.

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