Archive for December, 2010
Ok, so there’s this renowned film critic named Roger Ebert. Some of you may have heard of him. Well, he just listed this 3 minute YouTube video, “Idiot with a Tripod” as Oscar-Worthy. Uh…Whositwhadda?? Here are his arguments:
“This film deserves to win the Academy Award for best live-action short subject.
(1) Because of its wonderful quality. (2) Because of its role as homage. It is directly inspired by Dziga Vertov’s 1929 silent classic “Man With a Movie Camera.” (3) Because it represents an almost unbelievable technical proficiency. It was filmed during the New York blizzard of Dec. 26, and Jamie Stuart e-mailed it to me with this time stamp: December 27, 2010 4:18:18 PM CST.”
And here are my counter-arguments
- Quality. Ok the film isn’t even listed at any resolution higher than 360p. Show me something at 1080p and THEN we’ll talk. But let’s say Roger is talking about the quality of imagery. Ok, fine, he has some interesting shots taken with his Canon 7D, but show me a first year film student who couldn’t shoot similarly framed shots with their own Canon 7D/5D/t2i. Maybe it’s the fact he documented this small moment in time and that’s what’s so beautiful? Ok, sure, but let’s be honest. OSCAR-WORTHY!?
- Homage. So you’re admitting that these 3 minutes aren’t even sprung from an original idea? “Man With A Movie Camera” is gorgeously shot, 68 minutes in length, and pushed film to new heights when it was released in 1929. This is not innovative.
- Quick Turn-around. This is what gets my goat. I have friends that turn out more beautiful work by the end of a standard work day. Shit, all of the videos that we created as a part of the Samsung Mobile Explorers Program during the Olympics were written, pre-produced, shot, captured, transcoded, edited, post-produced, and published to the web in under 12 hours! I’m not saying the quality of “vision” is any better than this, but it’s just an example of how 24 hours is NOT an example of “unbelievable technical proficiency”. This guy stole someone else’s music and edited snow footage to it. Not even that well I might add.
Dear Mr. Ebert,
If you want to see some amazing quality and technical ability, please check out some of my YouTube friends: FreddieW, DeStorm, Mystery Guitar Man, Totally Sketch, Black Box TV, and, hell, ME. We regularly churn out amazing work in LESS time than this guy from New York. He just happened to email you a link to his. Well guess what, check your inbox tomorrow. I bet you’ll realize just how wrong you’ve been. Welcome to new media, my friend.
PS – Normally you’re pretty awesome.
Here it is folks, my annual “RICH ASSHOLE CHRISTMAS LIST” for 2010. You might remember last year’s list. Well, the items below are well out of the normal man’s salary and are reserved for the insanely rich and prick-ish. Enjoy and Meowy Christmas, fellow poor peeps! If you like, login through facebook and comment below on what would be on YOUR Rich Asshole Christmas List…
10) Trip Around The World – $418-60,000
This guy is a genius. He’s managed to book travel around the world for a measly price of $418. It took some serious planning, strategerie, and credit card finagling, but he did it. The reason it’s on the rich-boy’s Christmas list is because normal price would be upwards of $60,000. Fuckin’ rich people.
9) Garfunkel & Oates Private Livingroom Concert – $1075 (and climbing!)
First of all, I love these girls. They were fantastic guests on my show The Real Cool Club and have since gone on to take over the LA comedy scene. For the holiday season, UCB is hosting the “Comedy Death-Ray’s Xmas Nativity Pageant Benefit 2010″; which features numerous items up for bidding. Some of the items up for bid are ridiculously enticing (having Thomas Lennon do my video eulogy?!) but a lil out of the normal human’s pricerange. I’ll just be thankful these girls performed on my show so I don’t have to fork out over a grand – but if you have the $, DO IT. It’s for charity!
8 ) Apple Macbook Pro – $2199-2299
This will be on my list every year but I doubt will every manifest itself into my studio set-up. I’ve been rockin the same Macbook Pro for the last 5 years and it’s definitely on it’s last legs, but these beasts are so damn expensive. Any richy rich friends wanna donate to mah cause? I’ll make you a poster of awesome!
7) Nixon “The Ceramic 51-30″ White – $2600
I love watches. I collect them. A majority of my watches are from the company Nixon, which about 5 years ago was primarily a skater/surfer brand that few people had heard of. Now, sponsoring a number of high profile athletes in various sports, Nixon is a much larger company and continually pushes the envelope of their products both by design and engineering. This watch combines both: It’s made of ceramics and looks friggin’ rad in white. Loves.
6) Street Legal TRON Bike – $35,000+
I don’t think I need to explain why this is on the list. It’s both cool and ridiculously expensive. How to make it better? Include Daft Punk. Not their album, the actual duo.
5) Summiting Mount Everest – $70,000-100,000 (+ years of training and balls of carbonite)
This is something I want to do. Seriously. But the reality of it is so off the mental radar that it’s hard to comprehend. There are 5 other mountains you should consider summiting before you even CONSIDER Everest. Most of which are on other continents and require their own guides/sherpas/base camps. The REAL cost of summiting Everest is far greater than the price of the expedition above. In some people’s case, FAR greater (read DEATH). Regardless, I constantly read aggravating stories of uber-rich people – with massive amounts of disposable income – paying groups of guides to get them to the top of the Earth with little to no training – literally CARRYING the rich prick to the summit. Fuck you, assholes with money.
4) Hennessey Venom GT – $900,000
This car is a modified Lotus Exige (which if you remember, was my car of choice LAST Christmas) but with more power. More raw, high-performance nonsense. The thing puts over 1200hp to the rear axel, which translates to about 1050hp to the wheels. The exhaust note is frightening and the body just looks beastly. Me wanty.
3) The Godfather Mansion – $2,900,000
It’s not the fact that there’s 8 bedrooms. It’s not that it features an english pub in the basement. What makes me add this mansion to the list? The fact that it gives you far more credibility as a bad-ass than any other home you could live in. Just watch out for your competition sneaking a horse head into your bed while you sleep.
2) Your Own Personal French Polynesian Islands – $9,300,000
Cause when you have money, you have an island. In French Polynesia. With pirates. But yet you don’t buy a decent digital camera to take pictures of it with. Typical rich douche.
1) Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Models – $Priceless/Impossible
Based on last year’s list, I had to include the typical #1 Rich Asshole’s Christmas item. Cause when you have big money, you can buy anything. ANYTHING.
It’s that time of year. The time to bring out the xmas lights, the glowing plastic santa lawn ornaments, and the rum. Lots of rum. It’s also that time of year to celebrate with holiday music, and here it is folks, my contribution: “I Hate Christmas In L.A.”
Not only do I have the original version available on iTunes, but also the newly polished remixed version (now with MORE AIRHORN!). I’m stoked to have them both available for the ridiculously low price of $.99 and I encourage you to buy both for a combined price of only $1.98!
Buy It, Gift It, Spread It! My goal is to break into iTunes Top 200 Holiday Songs – it’s a huge undertaking, but hopefully we can do it! So seriously, go buy the songs, and gift one to your friends. I love your face-holes!