So I recently signed up for the Vancouver full marathon. I also noticed that the marathon committee was holding a T-Shirt design contest which allowed anybody to come up with the design that would be worn by 10s of thousands of runners on race day. I had to jump at the chance. The above design is one of the final 3 designs that they have chosen. If you could click the design and vote for me, that would be fantastic! Then, send it on to your friends and family and have THEM vote too! It is Design #3 on the BMO website and I would be humbly greatful for your support!

As extra credit, here are the other two designs I submitted to the contest but weren’t deemed worthy. (I personally favor Design #1 below, myself). Thanks again for your support!

Here it is folks, my annual “RICH ASSHOLE CHRISTMAS LIST” for 2010.  You might remember last year’s list.  Well, the items below are well out of the normal man’s salary and are reserved for the insanely rich and prick-ish.  Enjoy and Meowy Christmas, fellow poor peeps!  If you like, login through facebook and comment below on what would be on YOUR Rich Asshole Christmas List…

10) Trip Around The World – $418-60,000

This guy is a genius. He’s managed to book travel around the world for a measly price of $418.  It took some serious planning, strategerie, and credit card finagling, but he did it.  The reason it’s on the rich-boy’s Christmas list is because normal price would be upwards of $60,000.  Fuckin’ rich people.

9) Garfunkel & Oates Private Livingroom Concert – $1075 (and climbing!)

First of all, I love these girls. They were fantastic guests on my show The Real Cool Club and have since gone on to take over the LA comedy scene.  For the holiday season, UCB is hosting the “Comedy Death-Ray’s Xmas Nativity Pageant Benefit 2010″; which features numerous items up for bidding.  Some of the items up for bid are ridiculously enticing (having Thomas Lennon do my video eulogy?!) but a lil out of the normal human’s pricerange.  I’ll just be thankful these girls performed on my show so I don’t have to fork out over a grand – but if you have the $, DO IT.  It’s for charity!

8 ) Apple Macbook Pro – $2199-2299

This will be on my list every year but I doubt will every manifest itself into my studio set-up. I’ve been rockin the same Macbook Pro for the last 5 years and it’s definitely on it’s last legs, but these beasts are so damn expensive. Any richy rich friends wanna donate to mah cause? I’ll make you a poster of awesome!

7) Nixon “The Ceramic 51-30″ White – $2600

I love watches. I collect them. A majority of my watches are from the company Nixon, which about 5 years ago was primarily a skater/surfer brand that few people had heard of. Now, sponsoring a number of high profile athletes in various sports, Nixon is a much larger company and continually pushes the envelope of their products both by design and engineering.  This watch combines both: It’s made of ceramics and looks friggin’ rad in white. Loves.

6) Street Legal TRON Bike – $35,000+

I don’t think I need to explain why this is on the list. It’s both cool and ridiculously expensive. How to make it better? Include Daft Punk. Not their album, the actual duo.

5) Summiting Mount Everest – $70,000-100,000 (+ years of training and balls of carbonite)

This is something I want to do.  Seriously.  But the reality of it is so off the mental radar that it’s hard to comprehend.  There are 5 other mountains you should consider summiting before you even CONSIDER Everest.  Most of which are on other continents and require their own guides/sherpas/base camps.  The REAL cost of summiting Everest is far greater than the price of the expedition above.  In some people’s case, FAR greater (read DEATH).  Regardless, I constantly read aggravating stories of uber-rich people – with massive amounts of disposable income – paying groups of guides to get them to the top of the Earth with little to no training – literally CARRYING the rich prick to the summit. Fuck you, assholes with money.

4) Hennessey Venom GT – $900,000

This car is a modified Lotus Exige (which if you remember, was my car of choice LAST Christmas) but with more power. More raw, high-performance nonsense. The thing puts over 1200hp to the rear axel, which translates to about 1050hp to the wheels. The exhaust note is frightening and the body just looks beastly. Me wanty.

3) The Godfather Mansion – $2,900,000

It’s not the fact that there’s 8 bedrooms. It’s not that it features an english pub in the basement. What makes me add this mansion to the list? The fact that it gives you far more credibility as a bad-ass than any other home you could live in.  Just watch out for your competition sneaking a horse head into your bed while you sleep.

2) Your Own Personal French Polynesian Islands – $9,300,000

Cause when you have money, you have an island. In French Polynesia. With pirates.  But yet you don’t buy a decent digital camera to take pictures of it with. Typical rich douche.

1) Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Models – $Priceless/Impossible

Based on last year’s list, I had to include the typical #1 Rich Asshole’s Christmas item. Cause when you have big money, you can buy anything.  ANYTHING.

So as many of you know, I ventured north to Yosemite National Park this last week for some much needed outdoorsy, shower-less stink action.  I had never been there but have always wanted to go.  Now that I live in LA, it’s a short 4 hour jaunt to the park’s entrance, then another 45 min. breathtaking mountain ride to the park’s main hub, Yosemite Valley.  It was here that we set up camp in the North Pines camping area.  Yosemite National Park pretty much ruined my life by revealing what could be the most spectacular place on earth…WITH PICTURES (click any to enlarge)!

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Tomorrow morning at 6am, I will be running the Disneyland Half Marathon for the first time.  It has been just over a year since my last race (The Seattle RnR Marathon) and I’m a lil nervous.  My training hasn’t been going as smoothly as I’d hoped, my shoes are beginning to break down but I can’t afford to buy a new pair, It’s going to be hot, etc etc.  But I’m also excited because I will get to run through not only Disneyland and California Adventures but also Angels Stadium!  At the end of the race I get a big medallion, a macaroon, and a hand job from Minnie Mouse.  Can’t WAIT!

If you’d like to track me while I run (creeper) you can do so HERE.

I’ll be running with Kim, who got me my entrance into this race for my birthday last year.  Kim, you will finish faster than you can possibly imagine!  Also this weekend, my sister and nephew are running a half marathon up north back at home.  I wish both of them the best of luck.  This is my sister’s first and she’s going to kick it’s ass.  My nephew took up distance running recently and is hoping to finish in under an hour.  You read that right:  13.1 miles in UNDER A FUCKIN HOUR.  I hate him.   Good luck you two!

I recently came across THIS article from the New York Times talking about how technology has helped our national parks deteriorate into ignorant douchebag cesspools.  Just reading the article made my blood boil with hatred for the “tourist”.

People with cellphones call rangers from mountaintops to request refreshments or a guide; in Jackson Hole, Wyo., one lost hiker even asked for hot chocolate.

Now I am no national park slob, nor do I hate people for wanting to visit some of our country’s most gorgeous properties.  But what I do hate are the people that take it for granted, consider it a box on a bigger checklist of “things to do with the fam”, and make the experience a pain-in-the-ass for others.  If you are parents of 10, go to Six Flags.  If you have ‘screamy’ kids, put them down.  If you wear socks with sandals, die.

I have a trip planned to Yosemite in a matter of weeks and couldn’t be more excited. I have never been and it has been a dream of mine to scale Half Dome.  The problem is that I might have high expectations for the trip with my preconceived visions of my park experience. I imagine being able to roll in to the park, drive the curvy mountain roads with nary a slow moving tourist bus, and pull into a sparsly populated, quiet campground with picturesque, serene vistas of the surrounding cliffs.  Well, after reading the article above, I now imagine lines of traffic backed up at the park entrance, a shit-smelling tourist filled campground, and a 2 hour wait to summit the grandest, most widely known peak in the park.  Fuck.

I plan on bringing a tourist taser.  But you can guarantee I won’t call the rangers to come rescue my victims.  Duh duh DUUUH!