It was bound to happen, me making a Christmas list. People have been bugging me for one for a few weeks now so instead of giving them one drab lil list of bogus items I don’t want or need cause they fit into a price category, I’m going balls out and providing you with TWO lists. Today’s list will be all the items that are on the “HOLY JESUS, THANKS FOR BEING BORN AND FOR BEING RICH” list. No-holds barred.
10) 250G PS3 BUNDLE — $299-$399
This is the cheapest item on my “RICH” list. It’s also the one that can steal the most of my time. I have an Xbox 360 and love the shit out of it. But there’s this competing system that has a bevy of amazing games I’d love to sink my teeth into. Uncharted 2 – The SpikeTV video game of the year – is up on the top of that list. Coming out next year, Gran Turismo 5 is also up there. So why not, it’s currently out of my price-range so it’s made the “rich guy” list. Maybe I have a sugar momma out there somewhere.
9) MACBOOK PRO — $1200-$2600
I need one of these for obvious reasons. This computer runs my life, my work, my future. I currently own a 4 year old Macbook Pro and this thing is a workhorse. It performs all of my graphics, video, and motion graphics needs flawlessly…to a point. Over the years, the machine has gradually gotten slower, less powerful, less effective as the software and graphics requirements have increased. The only way I can keep up with the changing trends in the design world is to have up-to-date hardware. This is the machine I need. It’s so hot.
8 ) CANON 7D / 5D MARK II — $1699-$2800
This has been on my list for awhile. You can see my previous post on the Canon 7D here. I’ve always been a filmmaker (well, video sketch maker) and have always wanted the latest and greatest when it came to video cameras. The technology has changed so much in the last 10 years and will only continue to change from here on out. However, there has been one wall that consumer video hasn’t been able to scale – the ability to showcase accurate depth of field. Sure, the redrock adapter has allowed the technology to bridge to smaller consumer and pro-sumer camcorders, but it requires lenses, and TONS of on-set lighting to get a pretty result. Let alone the lack of portability in the on camera hardware. The Canon 7D and 5D Mark II have finally jumped the level of indie film making to a whole new level. With the canon lenses I already own for my Rebel XTi, both of these machines just inspire and excite me. In fact, The Real Cool Club has already started a tip fund to try and save $2k to purchase a 7D (we’re currently at $1100!). If you’d like to help us get one and contribute to our film making/sketch making you can do so HERE
7) LANCE ARMSTRONG’S BIKE (TREK MADONE 6.9) — $8,600-$10,000
I’ve been a cyclist for years, and recently invigorated my passion for road cycling. Now Lance Armstrong has also been an idol of mine for 10 years so to be able to ride what he rides would be a special privilege. The Trek Madone symbolizes all that is great in cycling (while also highlighting the bad). It has all the best components, the best frame design, and an eye-popping aesthetic. I can only imagine the smoothness with which the gears swap through mountain passes, the sound of the wheels whirring down the 101. It excites me just thinking about it. And hell, let’s just throw in one of Lances custom made art bikes while we’re at it. He had artists from around the country design the frames of a few bikes he actually rode in the 2009 Tour De France. Yeah, I’ll take one of those too, thanks.
6) LOTUS EXIGE / TESLA ROADSTER — $65,000-$120,000
I love cars. I love fast cars. I love sexy fuckin fast cars that make all humans cream with greatness. Now, I love me the Ariel Atom, a Ferrari California, Porsche Carrera GT, blah blah. But for some reason, there is a special place in my heart for the Lotus Exige. There’s something about small cars that are built for the purity of corning at top speeds. I’d drive a go-kart over a Mercedes whale any day. There’s just something about feeling every bump, G-Force, rev, and break force – something you can only get in a small, bare-bones race car. This beast is light, fast, small, and $70,000. I want one please, thanks. Oh and if you only have access to a Tesla Roadster (built on the same frame as a Lotus) I’ll deal with the hassle of charging up the engine every night in order to travel 0-60mph in 3.8 seconds.
5) 108″ SHARP LCD HD FLAT SCREEN — $111,000+
This is one of those items that by the time you bring it into your home, it’s already outdated and been outsized. However, a 108″ LCD screen will make me feel pretty damn good playin Modern Warfare 2 for a good while. Now, the problem is that I’d need to upgrade my house in order to squeeze it’s gargantuan size inside. Either that, or I could leave it outside and let the whole neighborhood watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation together.
4) SPACE RIDE — $200,000+
SPACE FLIGHT! Nuff Said.
3) A NICE COZY MANSION (OR JUST PAY OFF MY MORTGAGES) — $280,000-$Millions!
Yup, me wanty a nice, modern mansion in the woods please. 20pts if you can guess why this house is famous, and trust me, you want those 20pts. While we’re at it, I have some pretty hefty debt in my condo back in Seattle. Anyone want to help me get rid of those bills? Yes? Thanks!
2) GULFSTREAM G350 — $28 million
Ok, this is pretty much the status symbol to destroy all other status symbol. In addition to the plane costing a ridiculous fortune, the maintenance, staff, and gas costs associated with owning a private jet are astronomical. But honestly, I love to travel and if I had the ability to pick up and dash off to Seattle, New York, Paris, Djibouti, or Thailand I would use it incessantly. The bonus is that I would take each and every one of you with me. Well, except for you with the poor person clothes on.
1) SWEDISH CHEERLEADERS — $PRICELESS
Obvious choice. I figure a rich person can hook a brother up. Not necessarily by BUYing them, but most rich people have the means of introducing anyone to anyone else. Even if the other party is a cheerleading squad. Yum. Maybe I should have made #1 a new face to help attract an entire cheerleading squad…oh well, there’s always next year!
Stay tuned for my budget, realistic Christmas list coming tomorrow. What’s on YOUR dream, budget-less list?