30,000ft Smirk

So here I am. 30,000 feet above the surface of the earth. Partaking in the efficient GoGo in-flight wi-fi on an extremely comfortable trip aboard one of Virgin America’s direct flights to Boston (aside from Mr. Affliction who smells like ashtray and looks like a pile of bum-dump sitting next to me).  I always fly Virgin America.  ALWAYS.  The only obvious reason I wouldn’t was if they didn’t serve the airport I needed to fly into, but so far, Seattle and New York are my regular destinations. They do everything I want an airline to do (with a few exceptions explained below) but with one major difference… THE DO IT BETTER.

Buying a ticket on Virgin America is like having a Champagne Room stripper girlfriend.  Sure you’re in it for the novelty factor at first, but with all the bells and whistles it just keeps getting your rocks off over and over again without the hassle and drama of a “regular” girlfriend.  Here’s what I mean:

1. Virgin American flights are normally the cheapest option (i’ve never had an alternate experience)
2. Wi-Fi bitches!
3. Virgin American customer service is professional, quick, efficient, and understanding (oh, and pretty attractive in my experiences!)
4. TVs in the back of every headrest!!  With movies, TV, music, video games, and food ordering!
5. The option to affordably upgrade to the Main Cabin Select option providing you with FREE food, FREE movies, FREE bag checking, FREE drinks, FREE FREE FREE (these savings alone can sometimes cover the cost of the price difference from business class!)
6. Leg room on their jets.  I can stretch my leggies without kicking the douche in front of me.
7. Hip and modern interiors, terminals, and flight gates.  I enjoy the feeling of riding something new and exclusive.

Now the only problem that I have with Virgin, and this applies to ALL other airlines that I’m aware of, is the need to charge to check my bag.  To help offset costs, airlines are now charging a bag checking premium of $10-$20 per bag.  This sucks and I don’t like it.  Air travel shouldn’t be as expensive as it is (thank you Virgin for recognizing this and doing something about it) so the addition of costs just hurts the overall experience in my opinion.  I don’t like spending $250 on a flight with an additional $40 in bag checking.  Boooo.

My recommendation on fixing this: convert planes to solar powered monsters.  They already fly right up next to the sun with full exposure to the sun’s rays regardless of the weather below so why has this not been toyed with?  Or has it?  My ignorance could be getting the worse of me here…or perhaps it’s the altitude sickness.  Either way, I highly recommend you join in my glee for Virgin Air by traveling aboard one of their new planes this upcoming holiday season.  You won’t regret the decision and hell, you might even get a Champagne Room style lapdance out of it (available First Class only).