First of all, be warned that to watch the ad I’m about to talk about above, you have to watch another :15 second ad that sucks just as hard.  Watch at your own risk of boredom.

Above is the most recent marketing campaign from Yahoo! in hopes of wedging itself back into the limelight as an online powerhouse of search and info conglomerate.  They spent $85 million on this campaign.  And guess what?  It fails. Big time.  And here’s why (in no particular order):

• It’s too damn long and monotonous.  I got bored real damn quick.  I lost interest even quicker.  FAIL.
• It doesn’t help your cause of trying to tear down the competition when you utilize their friendly shaped app icons as the main content of the spot.  I now want to go surf the iTunes App library and buy the hell out of some hot lil apps that shoot lasers at Yahoo!’s facehole.  FAIL.
• Your whole argument about “google” being just a simple, basic, pointless search engine homepage with no data aggregation is ridiculous.  There’s this little innovation at google.com called “iGoogle” that does everything Yahoo! does, but better because it’s an OPTIONAL service that isn’t shoved down your throat the second you land on their homepage (though you can change these settings if you like).  FAIL.
• The commercial talks about how Yahoo! organizes all this information based on your personal online behavior, habits, and trends in an organized and structured manner yet the commercial ends with all these silly app icons jumbled in the most convoluted central pile of crazy, only to reveal a creepy fucking face of some chick that probably sold her soul to some stock photography studio in the 90s for a quick buck.  FAAAAIL.
• It looks like something some High School After Effects and Cinema4D student threw together in class in hopes of getting some design credit. $85 million could have at least gotten you a little lens flair for God’s sake.  FAAAAAIL.
• Something else I’m too lazy to care about.  FAAAAAAIL.

Now, what are YOUR opinons on this whole damn mess?  Do you like the fact Google.com is just an empty search bar or do you think Yahoo! has it right and the over exposure of information in a homepage is beneficial?  Discuss.

Hitler Reacts to the iPhone 4

So after a little copyright snaffu this morning, we are back up and running. Here is the official “Hitler Reacts to the iPhone 4″ Dubgasm video!  Click the image and watch to your hearts content. You know what would be even better? You spreading it on your twitter and facebooks.  Even better than that??  Leave the video sitting on a bar stool at a German bar in Redwood, CA. KThnxBai!

Also, in case you missed it, I uploaded a couple of other Dubgasms for your enjoyment.  Both the Ton Legacy spoof and the series of three 80′s commercials I redubbed.  Enjoy, you little pill-poppers, you!

Gizmodo finds the iPhone 4

The iPad can suck my wiener.  I hoped a new iphone was coming out, and this looks like the proof.  This knowledge outweighs any interest I have in joining the uberdouche iPad brigade (Seriously. If I see you with an iPad, I will probably hate you — well, maybe after I steal and play with your iPad for 20 minutes).  Forward camera?  The new iPhone 4.0 OS?  Micro-SIM?  A better rear camera with flash?  Higher resolution screen?  Yup, sign me up.  Is this a publicity stunt?  Will the guy mentioned in the article get ousted at work for the rest of time because he was an idiot who left the phone in a bar?

UPDATE: Gray Powell. That’s the dude that supposedly left the iphone 4 at the bar.  Poor guy just got outed all over the friggin internet.  He’s the new “George W. Bush” as far as fails are concerned.  You can read more of the article over at Gizmodo again, because they seem to be the ones that are posting all the juice.  I am now predicting major publicity stunt – a very successfully played publicity stunt.  I do see this as being a very similar clone to the new iPhone at the very least.  Hell, Apple surely couldn’t take a step BACKWARDS from this!

UPDATE 2.0: Apple has asked for their phone back.

Read the article and feel free to rag on my for succumbing to corporate marketing mumbo-jumbo, much like the iPad-ers.  [GIZMODO]

The Nike Vomero+ 5's

I’m both a distance runner and a big, heavy boy.  Two seemingly opposite qualities.  How can a big, 6’1″ 195lb ginger boy run marathons without dying from body jiggle and breaking his own knee joints?  I tell you, it has a lot to do with the shoes, running form, and lube. Lots of lube.  (continue reading…)

Kevin Pereira - G4TV's Attack Of The Show

This might be the most amazing Real Cool Club episode to date. I don’t want to spoil anything but let’s just say we do something never before done on live streaming internet television!  We owe Kevin Pereira and Scott Moore from G4 some major props for joining us and partaking in the regular Real Cool Club debauchery.  This is also our last episode from theStream.tv studios until March 1st. You can now follow Lindsay Harbert and myself as we compete in Samsung’s Mobile Explorer Competition (@TeamCoolKids).  Please vote for us and help us win $24,000 and a job!  Click the pic and enjoy!