Here it is folks, my annual “RICH ASSHOLE CHRISTMAS LIST” for 2010. You might remember last year’s list. Well, the items below are well out of the normal man’s salary and are reserved for the insanely rich and prick-ish. Enjoy and Meowy Christmas, fellow poor peeps! If you like, login through facebook and comment below on what would be on YOUR Rich Asshole Christmas List…
10) Trip Around The World – $418-60,000
This guy is a genius. He’s managed to book travel around the world for a measly price of $418. It took some serious planning, strategerie, and credit card finagling, but he did it. The reason it’s on the rich-boy’s Christmas list is because normal price would be upwards of $60,000. Fuckin’ rich people.
9) Garfunkel & Oates Private Livingroom Concert – $1075 (and climbing!)
First of all, I love these girls. They were fantastic guests on my show The Real Cool Club and have since gone on to take over the LA comedy scene. For the holiday season, UCB is hosting the “Comedy Death-Ray’s Xmas Nativity Pageant Benefit 2010″; which features numerous items up for bidding. Some of the items up for bid are ridiculously enticing (having Thomas Lennon do my video eulogy?!) but a lil out of the normal human’s pricerange. I’ll just be thankful these girls performed on my show so I don’t have to fork out over a grand – but if you have the $, DO IT. It’s for charity!
8 ) Apple Macbook Pro – $2199-2299
This will be on my list every year but I doubt will every manifest itself into my studio set-up. I’ve been rockin the same Macbook Pro for the last 5 years and it’s definitely on it’s last legs, but these beasts are so damn expensive. Any richy rich friends wanna donate to mah cause? I’ll make you a poster of awesome!
7) Nixon “The Ceramic 51-30″ White – $2600
I love watches. I collect them. A majority of my watches are from the company Nixon, which about 5 years ago was primarily a skater/surfer brand that few people had heard of. Now, sponsoring a number of high profile athletes in various sports, Nixon is a much larger company and continually pushes the envelope of their products both by design and engineering. This watch combines both: It’s made of ceramics and looks friggin’ rad in white. Loves.
6) Street Legal TRON Bike – $35,000+
I don’t think I need to explain why this is on the list. It’s both cool and ridiculously expensive. How to make it better? Include Daft Punk. Not their album, the actual duo.
5) Summiting Mount Everest – $70,000-100,000 (+ years of training and balls of carbonite)
This is something I want to do. Seriously. But the reality of it is so off the mental radar that it’s hard to comprehend. There are 5 other mountains you should consider summiting before you even CONSIDER Everest. Most of which are on other continents and require their own guides/sherpas/base camps. The REAL cost of summiting Everest is far greater than the price of the expedition above. In some people’s case, FAR greater (read DEATH). Regardless, I constantly read aggravating stories of uber-rich people – with massive amounts of disposable income – paying groups of guides to get them to the top of the Earth with little to no training – literally CARRYING the rich prick to the summit. Fuck you, assholes with money.
4) Hennessey Venom GT – $900,000
This car is a modified Lotus Exige (which if you remember, was my car of choice LAST Christmas) but with more power. More raw, high-performance nonsense. The thing puts over 1200hp to the rear axel, which translates to about 1050hp to the wheels. The exhaust note is frightening and the body just looks beastly. Me wanty.
3) The Godfather Mansion – $2,900,000
It’s not the fact that there’s 8 bedrooms. It’s not that it features an english pub in the basement. What makes me add this mansion to the list? The fact that it gives you far more credibility as a bad-ass than any other home you could live in. Just watch out for your competition sneaking a horse head into your bed while you sleep.
2) Your Own Personal French Polynesian Islands – $9,300,000
Cause when you have money, you have an island. In French Polynesia. With pirates. But yet you don’t buy a decent digital camera to take pictures of it with. Typical rich douche.
1) Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Models – $Priceless/Impossible
Based on last year’s list, I had to include the typical #1 Rich Asshole’s Christmas item. Cause when you have big money, you can buy anything. ANYTHING.