The Sasquatch - This is Why You're Fat

So it’s late on a Wednesday. Hell, it’s early on a Thursday at this point. Usually during these hours I’m either sleeping, working on my artz, drinking cheap draft, bonin’, or catching up on my Netflix. Tonight, it just so happens I’ve decided to partake in the Xbox 360 Netflix Instant Queue application and what it has to offer, seeing as all my physical DVD ‘rentals’ are in transit. My eye is drawn to a television program that was just added to the Netflix Instant Queue line-up, “Man vs. Food”.

Ok, so first of all, I thought the dude featured on the cover of the program was Patton Oswalt. One of the reasons I selected the show was to see what hilarious shit came out of his mouth while he shoved ridiculous amounts of food back in. Unfortunately, within the first 20 seconds I realized that there was no Patton, but rather an equally rotund, thicker accented version named Adam Richman. Regardless, I stuck around to watch the first episode. I figured I could give up 20 minutes of my life to see what sort of food-related entertainment this guy threw together. Hell, I love me the novelty of “Iron Chef” and “Ace of Cakes”.

What I got was an eye full of the most gluttonous food combinations created by Restaurants around the states being absolutely DEVOURED by this guy. Each of the featured restaurants have a special item that they offer as a challenge to customers to finish in an allotted amount of time or quantity. Richman steps up to the challenge, and from what I’ve gathered, manages to disgustingly conquer in most cases. Imagine a 72oz. grilled steak remeniscent of the John Hughes classes, “The Great Outdoors”, a baked potato, a roll, and a salad all thrown together on a plate stamped with a 60 minute time limit. Or perhaps it’s the ‘Sasquatch Burger’ – 7lbs of 80/20 hamburger meat, 1/2lb of cheese, a bun with a 12in. diameter, bacon, mushrooms, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, a pile of cheese fries, and a pickle. Either way, I am both severely sickened and enthralled by my country’s ability to concoct recipes seemingly indigestible.

It’s one thing that Richman eats this stuff for a television show, but the worst fact: People eat this shit all the fucking time!

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